The Drink Series:Coffee, Tequila & A Splash of Gin
by imaginus75
Summary: Alex and Olivia get acquainted over drinks.
1. Coffee

**The Drink Series: Coffee, Tequila, and A Splash of Gin**

**DISCLAIMER:** Law & Order: Special Victims Unit and all characters are property of NBC and Dick Wolf.  
**SPOILERS:** "Closure". Takes place shortly after "Angels".  
**ARCHIVING:** Only with the permission of the author.

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Coffee

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"Serena Southerlyn, Abbie Carmichael," Alex introduced.

"I'm so glad to finally meet you, Abbie," Serena said, shaking hands with her predecessor.

"It's nice to meet you too," Abbie replied as the three women sat down at their small table in the quiet coffee shop.

Serena Southerlyn, Abbie Carmichael and Alex Cabot. Three beautiful and powerful women, all at one table.

"So, Alex tells me you're here on vacation," Serena said after taking a sip of her latte.

"Yeah, I was feeling a bit nostalgic for the Big Apple. Plus, I wanted to see who Branch brought in to replace me," Abbie answered in her trademark husky tone and gave Serena a wink.

"And here I thought you were coming back to visit me," Alex said with her hand to her chest, feigning hurt.

"Nah, you're just free room and board while I'm in town," Abbie joked and leaned over to nudge Alex's shoulder with her own.

"You're staying with Alex?" Serena asked, surprised, not knowing how close the two women were. "I didn't realize you guys were such good friends."

"We met shortly after I moved here and we've been friends ever since," Abbie explained.

"And friends don't let friends stay in hotels when they're visiting," Alex added with a smile.

It was the first time Serena had met the woman she had replaced and she instantly liked her. Abbie Carmichael had left quite an impression and Serena had always wondered if she and Abbie would've been friends if they had known each other. Now she knew that they would have been, and, in fact, she was becoming friends with the brunette that night, thanks to Alex for inviting her out to dinner with them. Alex had spent some time outside the office with Serena and knew that even though she wouldn't admit it, she felt overshadowed by Abbie's "ghost" at times. This was the perfect opportunity for Serena to meet Abbie and see that she, too, was human and maybe shake Abbie's ghost once and for all.

They all promised not to speak of their work that night and only to sit back and have some girl talk, something that Abbie missed dearly since having left the DA's office. Although she worked with Jack McCoy and Arthur Branch in New York City, she had Alex to turn to for friendship and the occasional gossiping session. In D.C., she had not made any female friends yet and the guy she was seeing was frequently out of town, so she returned to New York for her vacation to see some familiar faces. After having talked with Jack and Arthur earlier on during her visit back, she found that Serena was filling her shoes nicely. A part of her was glad that they had found a good lawyer in Serena. Another part of her was a bit melancholic to think that she was easily replaced and that, should she ever change her mind and return to New York, it wouldn't be so easy to get her job back. But then again, being as stubborn as she was, she would never come back.

"So, Alex, is Detective Stabler still as sexy as I remember?" Abbie asked, diving right into the girl talk. It was good to be back, if only for a short time.

"Yes, and still married," Alex replied, holding up her left hand and wiggling her ring finger.

"Abbie, you have a thing for married men?" Serena teased.

"Just Elliot," Abbie replied. "Alex and I have this thing where we're each allowed to have one crush with the people we work with. Silly, but it made for some fun conversations and stress relief."

"So someone completely unattainable?" Serena questioned, intrigued by this game they had.

"More or less," Alex replied, sipping on her chai tea.

"So who is yours, Alex?" Serena asked, smiling.

"The impeccably dressed and always professional Dr. George Huang," Alex replied.

"How is he unattainable?" Serena asked. George seemed like a nice guy, and she was pretty sure he wasn't married.

"He's gay," Alex answered. "So, completely unattainable. But a really good guy to talk to, professionally and personally."

"Wow, I had no idea," Serena said, shaking her head.

"He's not in the closet, but he's not running around proclaiming it to the entire city either," Alex explained.

Abbie turned to Serena. "Okay, now you have to pick one since, you know, we showed you ours."

"God, I don't know." Serena hesitated.

"Just pick someone whom you know you could never have," Abbie encouraged.

"Or someone your polar opposite so that it would never happen," Alex added.

Serena picked up her mug and sipped the hot liquid while contemplating her choice. She put her mug down and pursed her lips as though in deep thought. Finally, she leaned forward, arms folded, resting on the table and made her decision. "Detective Olivia Benson."

"Benson. Man, she's one tough cop and she can be an ice queen," Abbie replied with an expression of respect and awe at the paradox that was Olivia Benson. Abbie had seen Detective Benson in action. She could intimidate a suspect to the point that they'd wet their pants and ask for their mothers, and on a turn of a dime, comfort a victim and hold them until they were dried of tears. She could give a man a night of the most wild and passionate sex, and the next day tell him to take a hike… Or so Abbie had heard.

"I know she's tough. I've seen her in action with suspects, but, if anything, she's one of the most compassionate people I've ever met; the way she handles the victims, especially the kids," Alex said, unwilling to believe Olivia to be an ice queen.

"Cold in terms of personal relationships," Abbie explained. "When I was working both Homicide and SVU, there was a rookie, Brian Cassidy. Sweet kid, but was dense at times. Anyway, one night we were all at Maloney's and Brian and Olivia were both pounding back the beers pretty hard. When we were leaving, they left together and ended up sleeping together. He fell for her, wanted to see her again and she wasn't having any of it. Guess what she said to him?"

"What?" Serena and Alex asked simultaneously.

"She told him that them sleeping together was just meant to be a one night stand. That it wasn't...personal," Abbie said, putting emphasis on the last word.

"Did this come from the rumor mill, because I heard something about that awhile ago," Serena asked, pointing out that rumors were overly abundant in their offices.

"Nope, I got it straight from Cassidy shortly after it happened. He had had a few drinks and was obviously still hurt about the whole thing. He needed to vent," explained Abbie.

"Maybe that was the only way she could get her point across?" Alex suggested in the detective's defence. She couldn't believe that Olivia could be that cold and unfeeling. "You said he was dense. Maybe she had to be cold and hurtful to get him to back off."

"Maybe," Abbie said, with a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, eyes on Alex.

Alex ignored her and asked Serena innocently, "So why Benson? Remember, it's gotta be someone you work with." The use of the detective's last name was her attempt to remain detached and unemotional regarding said detective.

"I've had the occasion to work with her on one or two cases while you were on vacation. Someone's gotta cover your ass, Cabot," Serena joked. Then she held up her hand and said, "If you're wondering if I'm gay, I'm not. But if I were, that detective would be in my sights. So, completely unattainable."

"Not quite," Abbie objected. "Completely unattainable for her. Not completely unattainable for you."

Serena looked at Abbie, brow knitted. "What do you mean?"

"Haven't you heard? Rumor has it that Detective Benson doesn't have a boyfriend because either she'd taken a vow of chastity or she'd taken a vow of lesbianism," Abbie explained.

"That doesn't explain the Cassidy fling," Serena tried to reason. "Maybe she's involved with Detective Stabler."

"Maybe she's bi," Abbie offered.

"You guys can't seriously take any stock in those rumors," Alex interrupted. "Besides, it's not right to gossip like this."

Alex looked at Abbie and suddenly felt herself become very defensive. "What?"

"Since when did you stop gossiping about those rumors?" Abbie asked her.

"It's just that I don't think we should be talking about rumors like that behind people's backs. We should be grown up about it enough to either stop or ask the person directly if the rumors are true and put an end to it," Alex started. Truth be told, she was fine with talking about other people. She just didn't like to gossip about Olivia Benson. Alex considered Olivia a friend and she felt wrong talking about her behind her back, even if it was with Abbie Carmichael, whom she considered to be her best friend. "For example, Carmichael, rumor has it that you and McCoy had a little thing going. Care to comment on that?"

"Changing the game are we, Cabot?" Abbie asked raising an eyebrow and a smirk on her face.

"Yeah, Abbie, I've heard those rumors too. Any truth to that?" Serena leaned in with great interest.

Abbie stared back at them, smirk still intact, drawing out the moment as long as possible. Finally she shook her head. "No. There was nothing going on between us. As much as he'd deny it, Jack wasn't over Claire Kincaid. We'd flirt but nothing serious. He wasn't my type anyway."

"Claire Kincaid. I heard about her," Serena said. "Come to think about it, I still don't think he's over her."

"So does that squash the rumor that you and he have a thing going?" Alex asked Serena.

"God, there's a rumor about us?" Serena asked in disbelief.

Abbie patted Serena's hand and said, "Don't worry, there's always at least one rumor about everybody."

"No kidding," Serena said, shaking her head. "And no, there's nothing going on between Jack and myself."

"So, have you heard anything about Alex?" Abbie asked smiling, head jerking over at Alex.

"Actually I have," Serena said mischievously.

"There's nothing going on between me and McCoy!" Alex declared as Abbie and Serena both laughed. "Someone ought to look into Jack McCoy, I think."

"Definitely," Abbie agreed, chuckling.

"Anyway, Cabot. I've heard that you, um, prefer the fairer sex?" Serena stated, but also questioned.

"Really?" Alex asked, a bit taken aback with Serena's choice of rumor to confirm.

"Yeah. So, any truth to that?" Serena continued, curious about the rumor she had heard since she first started at the DA's office.

Alex took a deep breath and looked over at Abbie, who gave her a warm smile. Abbie was the only person who knew about her sexual preference. Alex knew that Abbie would never have broken her promise to keep her secret. She didn't know if she was ready to come out to Serena just yet. "Where did you hear this from?"

"From around. Word has it that you've turned down every guy in the office who's asked you out, so, rumor has it that either you don't date co-workers or..." Serena answered, sitting back, giving Alex some breathing room and letting her know that she didn't have to answer if she didn't want to.

"For the record, only two guys in the office have asked me out," Alex clarified. She licked her bottom lip and sucked it in. "What's said here, stays here."

"You got it," Serena said softly with a nod.

"Since you've been ballsy enough to ask me to my face, I'll answer," Alex replied quietly. "Yes. Abbie is the only one who knows...and now you."

"Your secret's safe with me," Serena said. She reached over and gave Alex's hand a gentle squeeze.

"Thanks," Alex said giving Serena a smile, aware of Abbie's eyes on her. She turned to Abbie and sighed. "What?"

"What?" Abbie asked, slightly smirking.

"You know what," Alex said, starting to get annoyed. "You've given me that smirky look one too many times already tonight."

Abbie's smirk grew into a wide smile and then a grin, with her dimples on full display, but she still didn't say anything.

"Abigail Carmichael, if you don't stop that this instant…" Alex started to say sternly, but the Cheshire cat grin that was staring at her made her lose her anger almost instantly.

"If I don't stop, then what, Alexandra Cabot?" Abbie finally said, arching an eyebrow.

"Oh," Serena said, realizing what this was about. "I guess I should pick a different crush, huh?"

"What are you talking about?" Alex turned to Serena, pretending not to understand what Serena was implying.

"Come on, Alex," Serena said smiling. "The way you were defending the good detective's honor a minute ago?"

"I..." Alex started to argue but realized that any argument would be futile with the two lawyers.

"How long?" Abbie asked softly. She had suspected that Alex was interested in the detective, but wasn't sure when the crush had started.

Alex took a deep breath and wrapped her hands around her mug. "Let's see, I've been here just over two years...so..." Alex seemed to be doing math in her head, "that would make it just over two years."

Serena and Abbie both smiled and nodded their understanding.

"At first it was a physical attraction, but the more I worked with her, I saw her passion, her dedication...basically what I wanted to be. I've never met anyone like her before. And, God, the way she looks at you with those eyes..." Alex said looking off into space. She quickly realized that Serena and Abbie were both staring at her and shook herself out of her daze.

Abbie took a sip of her coffee, and slightly shook her head. "Boy, was I wrong."

"What do you mean?" Alex asked, confused.

"Here I thought it was just a school girl crush but, girl, you've got it bad," Abbie said, smiling.

Alex sighed and pleaded, "You can't say anything. I don't know if she's involved with anyone, and for all we know, she's straight."

"Well why don't we ask her to join us and confirm the rumors?" Serena said, looking past her companions and at the front counter. Abbie and Alex turned around and saw none other than Detective Olivia Benson. She was ordering her coffee, so she did not see the three pairs of eyes on her.

"Don't you dare," Alex said to Serena sternly, but before she finished her sentence she realized Abbie was no longer at the table. She turned around again to see the two brunettes hugging and exchanging words. Abbie, with her back to them, motioned towards their table and Olivia gave them a quick wave and then slightly shook her head, looking hesitant. Abbie tugged on her jacket sleeve and Olivia finally nodded. She grabbed her coffee and the two women came towards the table. Alex's heart began to beat faster and she felt her cheeks getting warm. Serena reached over and patted her hand. "Relax."

"Easy for you to say," Alex muttered as Abbie and Olivia approached.

Abbie quickly grabbed a vacant chair from an empty table close by and placed it beside Serena, who quickly took the coffee mug from where Abbie had been sitting and put it down beside her. Before Alex knew what was happening, Olivia Benson was sitting down beside her in the seat that Abbie had just vacated.

"Serena, Alex," Olivia greeted the two blonde ADAs. "I hope I'm not intruding. Abbie insisted I join you guys."

Alex took a sip of her tea, hoping to cover up the blush she felt creeping into her cheeks and to calm her rapidly beating heart. She suddenly found herself tongue tied, not knowing what to say, which only made her blush more. Abbie was right, she did have it bad, she thought. She was ADA Alexandra Cabot for god's sake, someone who's supposed to be eloquent and intelligent, yet here she was, speechless and frozen at the thought of Olivia Benson sitting beside her. It's not like this was the first time they'd been in close proximity, but it was the first time since she had voiced her feelings for the detective.

"Not at all," Serena said, and added with a wink, "we were just talking about you." She glanced at Alex who was shooting daggers at her with her eyes.

Olivia raised an eyebrow and eyed the Homicide ADA. "Really? Am I going to need a lawyer, ADA Southerlyn?"

"I'll be your counsel," Abbie joked and raised her mug.

Olivia raised her cup and touched it to Abbie's. "Thank you, Ms. Carmichael."

She took a sip of her coffee and asked with a twinkle in her eye, "So what kind of charges am I looking at?"

"Rumors," Serena said.

"Rumors?" Olivia asked, confused. She had never been one to start or pass rumors.

"We've been asking each other to confirm or deny rumors," Abbie explained. "We've heard enough of them around the office, it was time to clear up some of them."

Olivia nodded. She had a good guess at where this was going. She knew that rumors about her personal life had started popping up around the station house after the Cassidy fiasco. She never figured that they had made their way to the DA's office.

"I'm starting to rethink my decision to sit down with two ADAs and a former ADA," Olivia joked.

"You don't have to comment if you don't want to," Alex finally said, not wanting to make the detective uncomfortable. As nervous as she was sitting close to Olivia, she didn't want the brunette to leave. They rarely ever spent any time together outside of work and she was curious to learn more about the beautiful detective. All she knew about Olivia Benson was what she saw on the job. She didn't know anything about Olivia's personal life and only wished she had the nerve to find out. Luckily for her, it seemed like Serena and Abbie were intent on doing just that.

"I'll keep that in mind," Olivia said with her patented lopsided smile, looking at Alex, holding her gaze for several seconds. She found it odd that Alex wasn't very talkative and that she wasn't making eye contact like she normally did. That was one of the things that amazed her about the ADA. Alex had a way of looking at you as if you were the only person in the world. Her blue eyes would shine and change shades, depending on her mood, and they were always intense.

Olivia started to wonder if maybe she had interrupted something. Alex gave her a small smile and looked away, but not before she caught a little twinkle in the counsellor's eyes. She turned to Serena and Abbie who were ready to launch into their inquisition. "Fire away."

Serena and Abbie looked at each other, trying to decide on which rumor to bring up first but before they could say anything, Olivia said with a straight face, "And for the record, I have not dated Jack McCoy." This brought on a burst of laughter around the table.

"We just got through with confirming that none of us have dated Jack," Abbie explained. "Someone's gotta talk to that man."

"Anyway," Serena said, turning to Olivia, "are you ready to confirm or deny, Detective?"

"Sure," Olivia said, sitting back in her chair, ready for the onslaught.

"Detective Benson, will you confirm or deny the rumor that you are romantically involved with your partner, Detective Stabler?" Serena started the questioning.

"Deny." Olivia replied. "Elliot and I are partners and close friends, but he's married and I respect that. Plus, he's not the cheating kind."

"I knew you guys were too good for that," Abbie said. Olivia replied with a nod.

"Ready for the next one?" Serena asked, knowing she was treading on thin ice with the next question. Asking Alex about her sexuality was one thing; they were friends, but asking Olivia could turn into a volatile situation since they didn't know each other that well. However, Serena was willing to take the risk to find out, for Alex's sake.

Olivia took a sip of her coffee and nodded. She leaned back into her chair, stretched out her legs and semi-folded her arms in front of her, one hand still holding her cup. From the way they were positioned around the table, it looked like Olivia was facing an inquisition panel, which she was, but she remained cool and showed no signs of nervousness. Three-to-one. She'd been in worse situations.

"Rumor has it that you've either taken a vow of chastity or a vow of lesbianism," Serena started and paused to see if she could catch any kind of reaction on Olivia's face. She found none. "Would you like to confirm or deny either of those options?"

A slow smile crept out from Olivia's lips. "Where would the fun be in that? It's much more amusing keeping you guys guessing." She knew it was not a fair answer, but it was true. She liked being "the mysterious detective", and she wanted to be sure she was playing her cards right. The last thing she wanted to do was to wear her heart on her sleeve and have it crushed into a million pieces.

The three lawyers smiled in return. Serena smiled and said, "Okay, we'll accept that answer. For now."

"Next," Olivia said, indicating for the lawyers to continue.

"I have one," Abbie said and leaned forward. "Did you have a one night stand with Cassidy and tell him it wasn't personal?"

"I was wondering when you were going to ask me that," Olivia said, smirking. "Yes, I did have a one night stand with Cassidy, and yes, I did tell him it wasn't personal."

"Why?" Serena asked, knowing that Alex was too scared to ask herself.

"Why the one night stand or why the harsh words?" Olivia asked in reply, noticing that Alex wasn't looking at her.

"Both," Serena answered, hoping to find some answers for Alex.

Olivia looked into her mug. "The one night stand thing- that was a mistake. The harsh words, well, he didn't get it when I tried to tell him nice. Besides, Cassidy wasn't my type."

Serena and Abbie looked at each other and then at Alex, who seemed to be staring at some invisible spot on the table.

"What is your type then?" Abbie asked, raising an eyebrow.

Olivia, still looking into her cup, raised it to her lips and quickly said, before taking a quick sip, "I guess you can say I'm a sucker for blue eyes."

Alex, who was looking into her own tea mug, snapped up her head and found herself looking directly into Olivia's eyes. Blue met brown and they held for what seemed like an eternity, until the shrilling sound of a cellular phone broke the silence. All four women rummaged through their coats and jackets until Olivia announced that it was her phone.

"Benson," Olivia answered, "Hey, what's going on? How long? Okay, I'm on my way." She hung up and turned to her companions. "I've gotta go. It's been fun." She gave them a quick wink, stood up and began to leave.

"Hey, Olivia," Abbie called out and started to quickly scribble something down onto a napkin. "We're gonna have a pizza and movie night tomorrow. It'd be great if you could join us." She handed Olivia the napkin, which contained Alex's address and phone number.

"Sure, I'll give you a call," Olivia said and left the coffee shop.


	2. Tequila

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Tequila

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"I didn't know we were having a movie and pizza night tomorrow," Alex said to Abbie with a raised eyebrow.

"We are now," Abbie replied. "You'll thank me later, Cabot."

"We'll see about that," Alex said and took a sip of her tea.

"Serena, will you be able to make it tomorrow?" Abbie turned to Serena.

"Sure. I don't have any plans," Serena answered, happy for some more "girl time" after working with two men all week.

"And Cabot, if you don't make a move on the detective tomorrow night, rest assured, we will," Abbie told Alex, waving a finger between Serena and herself.

"That is if I can even speak," Alex confessed. "I don't know what the hell got into me just now."

"Don't worry, we'll get some alcohol tomorrow night to loosen you up," Abbie reassured her.

"Great, then I'll just be a bumbling drunk," Alex joked.

"No," Abbie corrected, "You'll be a flirting drunk."

"We still don't know if she likes women," Alex reminded her.

"She may not like women, but she sure as hell likes you," Serena pointed out. "'A sucker for blue eyes'? That's a come on if I ever heard one."

"You've got blue eyes too," Alex said to Serena.

"Yeah, but she wasn't looking at me, now was she?" Serena answered back. "Come on Cabot, you might not have seen it, but Abbie and I sure did. She was totally flirting with you!"

"Are you sure? I mean if she's not interested, it'll make for a very uncomfortable working situation," Alex rationalized.

"Just to be safe, why don't we just work on your ability to talk when she comes over, okay?" Abbie reassured her and then added jokingly, "And I'll use my good looks and charm to find out how she feels about blue eyed SVU ADAs."

**Next evening**

Olivia picked up the phone and dialed the number Abbie had given to her in the coffee shop. After a couple of rings, a familiar voice answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, Alex?" Olivia asked, pretending she didn't know the voice by heart.

"Yeah, hi," Alex answered, butterflies starting to stir in her stomach. "Are you coming over?"

"If the invitation's still open," Olivia replied, smiling. She wanted to say, "If you'll still have me", but chickened out at the last second.

"Of course it is," Alex replied, relieved that Olivia wasn't calling to cancel. "You have the address Abbie gave you right?"

"Sure do," the brunette confirmed.

"Tenth floor. Out the elevators and it's the apartment on the left," Alex explained.

"Anything I can bring or pick up?" Olivia asked. She didn't want to show up empty handed.

At that moment, she could hear Abbie yelling out, "Tell her to bring some tequila!" Olivia chuckled. If Abbie knew anything about her, it was that she liked good quality tequila.

"Don't mind Carmichael. She's been hitting the beers already," Alex joked. "Just bring yourself."

"Okay, I'll see you in a bit," Olivia replied and hung up. She checked herself in the mirror. A black, snug fitting baby tee and low riding blue jeans. Perfect for pizza and movies, and tequila of course. She threw on her leather jacket, grabbed her keys and headed out the door to hail a cab.

The doorman opened the door for her and Olivia made her way across the marble lobby towards the elevators. One of them opened up and a young man in a blue jacket stood inside.

"Which floor, ma'am?" he asked.

"Tenth, please," Olivia answered as she stepped inside. She always wondered what kind of lifestyle the ADA lived, whether or not the rumor of Alex coming from old money was true. So far, all the evidence pointed to a comfortable lifestyle.

As the elevator reached the tenth floor and the door opened, the young man nodded to Olivia and said "Have a good evening, ma'am."

Olivia thanked him and made her way down the hallway. Sure enough, there was one door on either side of the hallway. She knocked on the one on the left.

Abbie opened the door and Olivia held up the requested gift; a bottle of Herencia de Plata. Abbie laughed, "I knew you'd pull through!" She hugged Olivia and led her into the apartment.

"Alex is just finishing up in the shower," Abbie explained the absence of the hostess as she hung up Olivia's jacket in the closet. "She opened a beer and it sprayed all over her. I told her that beer perfume was the new thing, but she didn't buy it."

They walked past the open kitchen on their right and into the living room. Olivia took in her surroundings in awe. On her right, there was a hallway which she assumed led to a bedroom or two. The living room had a fireplace, in front of which was a black coffee table, surrounded by a large cream-colored sofa, matching love seat and arm chair. On her left was the dining room and in between that and the living room sat a black baby grand piano. The far wall of all that space consisted mostly of floor to ceiling windows and a view of the river. Outside, she could see a terrace with patio furniture, a barbeque and lots of plants. She let out a whistle before she could stop herself.

"Trust me, they don't pay ADAs enough to even rent the bathroom in this place." Serena said as she put a few CDs into the stereo in the far corner of the living room.

"'Guilt money' can buy a lot," Alex said coming out of the hallway from the right.

"Guilt money?" Olivia asked with a raised eyebrow. She was intrigued by the term as well as the picture before her. Alexandra Cabot, the relentless pursuer of justice, and whom Olivia had only seen in casual clothes once or twice before, was wearing a pair of black fleece drawstring pants and a baby blue tank top that had "I've lost my number. Can I have yours?" written across the front.

"Daddy's 'guilt money'," Abbie said as came up to Olivia with four shot glasses and a bottle of beer. She gave Olivia the beer bottle in exhange for the bottle of tequila. She held it up for Alex to see and said with a grin, "I told you she knew her tequila!"

Serena and Abbie busied themselves with bringing the pizzas into the living room as Alex headed into the kitchen with Olivia in tow.

"My father felt guilty for not paying my college tuition," Alex began to explain. "So after I finished Law school, he tried to make up for it by giving me this apartment. It's been in our family for years and he decided to make amends while he was still alive, instead of waiting to leave it to me in his Will. Besides, it was a way for him to keep me in New York instead of having me go to the west coast or somewhere far from the family."

"Must be nice," Olivia said as Alex opened up a cupboard.

"Sometimes," Alex said. "But it's too big for just me though."

As Alex reached up to grab some plates, Olivia noticed something shiny at Alex's midsection.

"ADA Cabot, is that a navel ring I see?" Olivia said half surprisingly, half shocked. "I never knew you had it in you!"

Alex brought four plates down and looked Olivia straight in the eyes. "There's a lot you don't know about me, Detective Benson."

Olivia saw the smile tugging at the corners of Alex's mouth and felt her own smile grow. "I'll say. First the apartment, then the shirt, and now the navel ring. I can't wait to see what's next."

"Patience, grasshopper," Alex said, coming closer to Olivia. She handed her the plates and then grabbed some napkins. "We've got all night." With that, Alex walked by her and into the living room where Serena and Abbie had setup the pizzas on the coffee table.

Olivia stood in the kitchen unable to move. She could still smell the scent of strawberries that Alex had left when she brushed by her and her hair came close to Olivia's face. Add to that the thought that Alex may have been flirting with her made her confused. She didn't know what Alex's sexual preferences were and had always hoped that Alex was gay. However, after having seen Alex at dinner with Trevor Langan last week, she assumed Alex was straight. Olivia took a deep breath and turned around and headed to the living room.

"Jesus, Benson, what took you so long?" Serena asked jokingly as Olivia handed out the plates.

"Sorry," was all Olivia could come up with as she sat down in the loveseat. Serena sat in the arm chair across from Olivia while Alex and Abbie shared the sofa.

They all grabbed some pizza and started eating and agreed that Alex's pizzas were the best they'd ever had.

"These are homemade?" Olivia asked. "They are so good."

"Thank you," Alex answered. "My family's Italian and we never ordered out for pizza. It was deemed sacrilegious. We always made our own pizzas and pasta dishes."

"You don't look Italian," Olivia commented.

"You're thinking of the stereotypical image of an Italian; the one with the olive skin, dark hair and dark eyes. That only applies to Southern Italians," Alex explained. "My family is from Northern Italy which has had some influences in the genetics department from France, Switzerland and Austria."

"I always wondered how they could pass Michelle Pfeiffer off as Italian in Tequila Sunrise," Serena joked.

"Speaking of movies, what movies did you guys get?" Olivia asked going for another slice of pizza.

"We didn't," Alex answered. "We couldn't agree on a movie."

"I like comedies," Abbie explained.

"And I like foreign films," Serena added.

"And I like action flicks," Alex finished.

"Action flicks?" Olivia repeated. "If anything, I would've thought you were the foreign film type." Again, Alex Cabot managed to surprise her. She always thought that Alex would be a foreign film or documentary buff. She resolved to stop assuming anything more about the blonde from that moment on.

"Well, in action movies, you have your good guys and bad guys, and the good guys always wins," Alex answered.

"I like action movies too," Olivia said with a smile. She knew where Alex was coming from. After the things they saw day in and day out on the job, it was always nice to see the good guys win.

"Anyway, since we couldn't settle on a movie, we decided to just hang out and maybe play some cards for shots," Abbie said with a wink.

"I'll drink to that," Olivia said, raising her beer bottle as the rest followed suit.

"So, Alex, why didn't your father pay for your college tuition?" Serena asked after taking a swig of her beer.

"He wanted me to go to into Medicine," Alex replied. "He was a plastic surgeon and my mother was an anesthesiologist. My older brother was finishing up Med school and was going to join their practice. I was going to be the black sheep and go to Law school. My father and I fought about it and I told him that I didn't need his money."

"So how did you pay for school?" Olivia asked.

"I got a full scholarship for Law school," Alex answered. "In college I got some scholarships, but I still had to earn my own way. All those piano lessons I was forced to take while growing up finally paid off. I played at clubs, restaurants, parties; basically anywhere they would hire me."

"What kind of music did you play?" Serena asked.

"Mostly jazz," Alex said, taking a swig of her beer.

"Let's here some, counsellor," Olivia said with a lopsided smile.

"Nah, it's been awhile," Alex started to protest but Abbie grabbed her beer and plate away from her and urged her on while Serena grabbed the remote to the stereo and turned the CD player off.

"Fine," Alex caved and stood up. "But if I sound horrible, don't say I didn't warn you."

She went to the piano and sat down. She wiped her palms on her pants and shook her hands to loosen up her fingers. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her fingers took over and started to caress the ebony and ivory keys. It was as if she had never stopped playing after college.

"Peel me a grape, crush me some ice," Alex's sang out in a unrecognizable velvety voice. "Skin me a peach, save the fuzz for my pillow."

As Alex continued to sing the jazz tune, Olivia was mesmerized. It had to be one of the sexiest sights she had ever seen. From where she was sitting, she had a view of Alex in the gap between the lid and the piano. Her head was slightly tilted to one side as she swayed to the music. She sang mostly with her eyes closed or downcast at the keys. It was like she was in her own little world and the rest of them didn't exist.

She finally opened her eyes again as she decided to wrap up the song without going into the piano solo. She forced herself to look up and out into Olivia' eyes as she sang the last line.

"I'm getting hungry, peel me a grape," She drew out the last syllable with the last note and then added seductively, "Slowly."

Her audience broke out in applause causing her to blush slightly. No matter how many times she had played in public, applause always caused her to blush. She got up and walked towards them.

"Horrible my ass," Abbie said as she threw a balled up napkin at Alex.

"I'll bet you never had to buy yourself a drink whenever you played that song at a bar, huh?" Serena teased.

"Not a one," Alex confirmed with a smile as she grabbed the remote from Serena and turned the music back on.

"That was amazing," Olivia complimented, catching Alex's eyes as she sat back down on the sofa.

"Thank you," Alex replied, holding Olivia's gaze.

Abbie and Serena both quickly glanced at Olivia and Alex and then looked at each other and started to suggest to one another that they put the pizza away and pull out the cards for some games of "Asshole" and tequila shots.

Alex and Olivia broke eye contact as they got up to help Abbie and Serena take the pizzas and plates into the kitchen. Alex headed off into the den, to grab some playing cards and returned to find the other three women sitting on the Persian rug, around the coffee table. They had saved her a spot across from Olivia. She settled down onto the rug, sitting with her legs folded Indian style. She gave the deck of cards to Abbie who shuffled them and let everyone pick a card to determine who would go first. Serena got the highest card so she would start them off. Abbie dealt the cards and Serena began the game. Their rule was that the loser of each game had to take a shot of tequila as well as deal the next game.

As they started the first game, they talked about how they would try to lose on purpose because of the quality of the tequila. After the first round, Abbie won and Alex lost, so Abbie poured her the first shot. Alex knocked it back and licked her lips teasing them with the fact that she just had something they all wanted. Alex lost the next round as the others accused her of throwing the game just so she could keep the tequila to herself. After a couple of hours of playing and sharing stories of first times and first kisses, they all had had at least three shots and the bottle was half emtpy. Olivia lost the last round, and, after downing her drink, she began to deal the cards for a new game as the stereo started to play Sheryl Crow's "My Favorite Mistake".

Olivia got some raised eyebrows as she hummed along to the song. "What?" she asked slightly defensively as the others just smiled.

"Okay, who would you say is your 'favorite mistake'?" Abbie asked as she laid some cards down to start the new game. She turned to Olivia, "Olivia?"

"Hmmm, good question" Olivia said and gave it some thought. "Elliot Stabler."

"I thought you said you guys weren't involved," Serena said, referring to their conversation the previous night.

"We weren't, aren't, or ever will be," Olivia began to explain. "The first year I was partnered with him, I had a huge crush on him. At first it was his charm and personality. After realizing how faithful he was, and is, to Kathy, it made him that much more appealing. Eventually I got over it and he's become my best friend. I'd have to say that Elliot has been the best and longest relationship I've ever had, as sad as it sounds."

"It's not sad. It's good to have someone you can count on," Alex said.

"I can definitely count on him," Olivia said. "And bless Kathy's heart for being so understanding."

"Well, you said he's faithful, so Kathy's a lucky woman," Abbie commented.

"You should see the way he looks when he talks about her," Olivia said with a chuckle. "He's so in love with her it pours out of his eyes."

"Here's to hoping we should be so lucky," Alex said raising her beer.

"Here, here," Abbie and Serena replied.

They all took a drink of their beers and Olivia said to Alex, "I don't think you'll have a problem in that department." Before Alex could reply, she turned to Abbie and asked, "What about you? Who's your favorite mistake?"

"Justin Parrish," Abbie said, without hesitation. "He was the most gorgeous man I had ever laid my eyes on. He had these green eyes that looked at you in a way that made you feel as though you were the only person in the universe."

At Abbie's description, both Olivia and Alex smiled inwardly, knowing full well what she meant. Olivia had fallen for Alex's baby blues the first time they met. As for Alex, could never look into Olivia's eyes for long periods of time for fear of being lost in them forever. Sometimes she thought Olivia could see right through the "professional yet distant ADA" facade and see the scared inner teenager who just wanted some justice and order in a chaotic world. So many times she wanted to find out more about the woman behind the gaze and to let Olivia into her world and see that she was more than just a lawyer. Tonight was a good start.

"He was the reason I moved to New York," Abbie said as she remembered the one man who ever broke her heart. "After three years together, I found out that he didn't just look at me that way. There were others."

"I'm so sorry, Abbie," Alex said, and reached out to give Abbie's hand a squeeze. "I never knew he did that to you."

"It's okay. It took me a while, but I'm over it now," Abbie said and gave Alex a reassuring smile. She turned to Serena. "Your turn. Dish it up."

"I would have to say Billy Robertson," Serena answered after some thought. "We were in college and dated for two years. It was great until he decided for sure that he was gay."

"D'oh," the other three women said simultaneously.

"It wouldn't have been so bad had it not been for the fact that he had thought he might have been gay before we dated," Serena continued, "and I was kind of like a test to make sure."

"I know how you feel," Alex said and clinked the neck of her beer bottle with Serena's. "My favorite mistake was Jordan Mitchell," Alex said as she laid some cards down to win the game. "We were both in Law school. It only lasted just over a year."

"Did he know he was gay before?" Serena asked.

Alex took a deep breath. Abbie and Serena knew she was gay, and now, she was taking a big step towards trusting Olivia with her secret. She figured that if Olivia was interested in her, she might as well put it out there that she was not straight. "Other way around. Jordan thought she was gay, but then realized that she was more inclined towards men."

"Was it a first time for both of you?" Serena asked.

"Not for me, but it was for her," Alex answered. "I guess I was just an experiment."

"Well, I think we both deserve shots then," Serena said and grabbed the tequila bottle. She poured them each a shot and raised her glass. Alex met Serena's glass with her own and they both downed the shots. The cards were now forgotten and the tequila was filling up all four glasses. They all picked up their glasses and tossed back the amber liquid.

Alex put her glass down on the table and concluded, "As fun as it was with Jordan, I don't ever want to do that again."

"Do what?" Olivia finally said. She had been in a state of shock since hearing that Jordan was a female. She couldn't believe that her wish had come true, that Alexandra Cabot preferred women. Now all she had to do was find out if she had any chance at all with the blonde. A wave of regret quickly washed over her as she remembered how she refused to tell them about her sexual orientation at the coffee house. She decided that perhaps she should turn up the flirting a notch or two, but before that, she had to find out what Alex meant by her last statement.

"Be someone's experimental phase," Alex replied.

"Well, with that brain of yours, the blonde hair and the navel ring, can you blame them for wanting a taste?" Olivia asked with a thinly veiled smile, hiding her faint disappointment. She had one strike against her already; she had never been with another woman before. However, Olivia wasn't going to give up that easily.

"But I'm not a one-night stand kind of girl," Alex said, mirroring Olivia's smile.

"I never thought you were," Olivia replied softly.

"So, are you currently involved with anyone that you've neglected to tell me about?" Abbie asked Alex, giving her an opportunity to let Olivia know that she was available.

Alex caught on to Abbie's question. She looked over at Olivia, caught her eyes, held them for a few seconds and then turned to Abbie. "Not yet," she said with a smile.

Abbie smiled back and looked over at Serena. "How about you?"

"I do have a boy toy," Serena answered and got a few laughs for her term of endearment. "He's a chef. He's got a restaurant in Gramercy."

"A chef? Does he cook for you or does he take you to the restaurant?" Olivia asked.

"He cooks when he's around. He's one of those guys who just loves to cook," Serena answered, smiling. "He's pretty busy with the restaurant though, but that's good because sometimes I get so caught up in work that I don't even have time for myself. There's nothing worse than a clingy man who needs your undivided attention whenever you're not working."

The other three women agreed and Serena asked Abbie if she had met anyone in D.C. yet.

"I have," Abbie said with a smile. "He's a lawyer in the Navy. He's arrogant at times, but I put him in his place. He's got a big smile and a big heart."

"This sounds promising," Alex said encouragingly.

"It's nothing long term," Abbie replied. "He's in love with a woman he works with, a uh, Marine Colonel, only he won't admit it. So for now, I'll enjoy his company and how well he fills out his uniform." The women laughed at this and wished Abbie all the best and hoped that it wouldn't end badly when the time came. Abbie turned to Olivia. "Your turn. Are you seeing anyone?"

"I'm in between relationships right now," Olivia replied slowly, seeming to be thinking carefully about her response.

"In between? That implies there's someone on the horizon," Serena said, hoping to get more out of the detective. She wanted to find out for Alex's sake if Olivia was even interested in her friend.

Olivia mimicked Alex's earlier flirtatious display. She looked at Alex, caught her eyes, held them for a few seconds and turned to Serena. "I have someone in my sights."

"Anyone we know?" Alex asked, unsure as to whether or not she wanted to find out who it was that had caught the detective's interest. What if she had misread all the signs and Olivia was interested in someone else? Besides, she still didn't even know if Olivia was straight, gay or bisexual.

"I'd say so," was all Olivia offered as she picked up her glass that had somehow became full again and took a drink. She set her glass down and looked at Alex, who in turn picked up her glass and downed the alcohol, all the while maintaining eye contact with the detective.

"So what are you waiting for?" Serena asked. "Why don't you make the first move?"

Olivia saw her chance and made the most of it. She looked directly at Alex while she answered Serena. "I'm still trying to gauge her interest level."

"Her?" Serena asked. "What with the Cassidy thing, I thought you were - "

"Straight?" Olivia said, turning to Serena. Then she added with a smile, "I like to think of myself as an equal opportunity lover." Her last statement illicited a chuckle around the table.

"Equal opportunity lover, huh?" Abbie asked.

"Yeah," Olivia replied and explained, "I won't discriminate against a possible relationship based on the person's sex."

"Wow, I never knew," Alex finally said.

Using Alex's words earlier in the evening, Olivia replied, "There's a lot you don't know about me, counsellor."

"Indeed," Alex said without missing a beat.

Serena looked at her watch and said, "Well, I should get going. Sean should be about finished with closing up and I really don't need to drink anymore. We're going out for Sunday brunch with his parents tomorrow and it wouldn't be good for me to be hung over."

"Brunch with the parents, huh?" Abbie asked. "Sounds serious."

"We'll see," Serena said with a smile as she got up.

"I'll see you out," Alex said and got up as well.

"Well, girls," Serena said to Abbie and Olivia. "It's been a very interesting and entertaining night. You'll have to come and visit more often, Abbie."

"I'll try," Abbie said. "Take care and don't let Jack or Arthur bully you too much."

"I won't," Serena said as she walked over to the door where Alex had her coat. Alex put on a zippered hooded jacket to walk Serena down to her car.


	3. A Splash of Gin

**********

A Splash of Gin

**********

"It's been awhile since we had a drink together hasn't it?" Abbie asked and poured Olivia another drink.

"Yes it has. Carmichael, are you trying to get me drunk?" Olivia asked accusingly but jokingly.

"Well, we can't let this great tequila go to waste now, can we?" Abbie asked, pouring herself a drink.

"No, I guess not," Olivia conceded. She raised her glass and said, "Here's to our neighbours down south for this wonderful concoction!"

"To Mexico," Abbie replied and they both threw back their drinks.

"However, you have always been able to drink me under the table, not to mention that you're staying here and I have to drag my sorry ass home," Olivia said. "Speaking of which, I guess I should call it a night too."

"Olivia, wait," Abbie said and quickly placed a hand on Olivia's arm to stop her from getting up and made up a quick excuse. "You are in no condition to be leaving now."

"It's okay Abbie. I'm pretty sure that I'm sober enough to take a cab," Olivia said, smiling.

"Look, Olivia," Abbie said, resigned to just being truthful. "I know I might be out of line here, but Alex is my best friend and I want to see her happy."

Olivia nodded, indicating for Abbie to continue.

"When you said you were interested in someone, were you talking about Alex?" Abbie asked, straight to the point.

"Do you think she caught the hint?" Olivia asked in reply and bit on her lower lip.

Abbie moved her hand from Olivia's arm and gave her a warm smile. "I think so, but in case she didn't, stay awhile and talk to her. Get to know her. Let her get to know you."

"Is she interested?" Olivia asked hesitantly.

"And here I thought you were a detective," Abbie joked. "Let me just say that ever since I bought her that tank top two years ago, this is the first time she's ever worn it."

"Remind me to take you out to lunch later to thank you," Olivia said, smiling.

At that moment, Alex returned and hung up her jacket. She blew into her hands, rubbing them together. "Phew, it's cold out there."

"Why don't you make some coffee, and Olivia and I will start a fire," Abbie suggested.

"Sure, knock yourselves out," Alex answered and went into the kitchen. She started to make some coffee while Abbie and Olivia put some kindling in the fireplace and worked on getting a fire going. By the time they got the fire going, Alex was getting some coffee mugs out. "Hey guys, what do you want in your coffee?"

"Actually, I think I'm going to call it a night," Abbie replied as she got up from in front of the fireplace.

"Oh, okay," Alex said, a bit surprised. She didn't think Abbie was going to bail on her, but truth be told, she didn't mind some time alone with Olivia. She just hoped that Olivia wasn't going to leave as well.

"I'll keep ya company," Olivia said as she came into the kitchen to get her coffee. "Unless you're tired and want to call it a night."

"No, I'm not tired," Alex said a little too quickly and then added, "Unless you're tired."

"No, I'm not tired," Olivia replied softly.

Alex poured them two cups of coffee and they took their mugs out to the living room. Olivia put her mug down on the coffee table and noticed that the first small log they had put on the fire was almost out. She went over and added a larger piece of wood into the fireplace and blew some air into the still hot ashes to get the fire going again. Alex sat down on the couch and sipped her coffee. Olivia came back to the couch and instead of sitting on it, she sat down on the rug and leaned her back against the sofa.

"There's lots of room here. You don't have to sit on the floor," Alex said, indicating the sofa.

"I just want to be able to get to the fire in case it goes out," Olivia explained.

"Suit yourself, pyro," Alex said with a smile, putting her mug on the coffee table and laid down on the couch, hugging a cushion.

Olivia looked over her left shoulder at Alex and smiled. "So..."

"So..." Alex said and smiled. "I'm glad you came over tonight."

"Me too," Olivia replied and took a sip of her coffee.

"Can I ask you something?" Alex asked.

"Sure," Olivia said and leaned back again.

"Why did you join the unit?" Alex questioned, fingers playing with one of the tassles on the cushion.

"To serve and protect," Olivia said lightly with a small smile.

"Yeah, but sex crimes is voluntary," Alex pointed out.

Olivia took a deep breath and nodded. "A long time ago, my mother was raped."

"I'm so sorry," Alex replied softly. "Did they ever catch him?"

"No. That's why I initially joined the unit," Olivia explained. She continued in a quieter voice, "To find the man who raped my mother. To find my father."

"Your father?" Alex echoed.

"I'm a product of rape, Alex," Olivia said looking into the fire.

Alex sat up and scooted down to the other end of the couch, next to Olivia. She lowered her chest to her knees so that her face was level with Olivia's. "I'm sorry about what happened to your mother, but I'm glad that you're here."

"Thank you," Olivia said with a small smile as her eyes started to get moist. "I'm glad I'm here too."

Olivia blinked back the threatening tears and took a deep breath. "So what about you? Why did you become a lawyer, against your father's wishes?"

Alex sat back up and reached past Olivia and picked up a picture frame from the end table. She laid down on her stomach behind Olivia and handed her the picture. The photo was of two young girls, arms around each other's shoulders, grinning at the camera. One was a blonde and one was a brunette and they both had ponytails.

"That was Amy, my best friend growing up," Alex pointed to the brown haired girl. "Our families were friends. We'd known each other since we were babies."

"You guys looked happy," Olivia said looking at the photo.

"We were, until the summer before high school" Alex continued. "That summer, Amy told me that she had been molested by a friend of her father's for over a year. She had told her parents but they didn't believe her and she didn't know what to do. I took her to the police and the guy was arrested. The next thing I knew, Amy was gone. Her parents had sent her off to a boarding school in England. Since Amy wasn't around, there was no witness and so the charges were dropped and the guy walked. Two months into the school year, I received a letter from her telling me that she couldn't take it any more. She was all alone and had so much hurt inside of her and I couldn't do anything to help her. She killed herself after she wrote me that letter."

Tears started to roll down Alex's face as she remembered her childhood friend. "After that, I swore that I would do whatever I could to help people like Amy. I decided to go to Law school and become a prosecutor. My father said that if I wanted to help people like Amy, I should go to Med school and become a psychiatrist. He said that if she had someone to talk to, some therapy, maybe she wouldn't have killed herself. He was so bent on my being a doctor that he couldn't see my point. I wanted to put away people like the man who hurt Amy."

"That's why you pushed so hard with the Cavanaugh case," Olivia realized.

Alex nodded. "When I found out about Sam's suicide attempt, all I could think about was Amy. I couldn't let Barnett get away with what he had done. I had to do everything I could to put him away. I didn't want to fail Sam." Alex wiped away the tears that had fallen down her cheeks and sniffed back the ones that threatened to pour out. "So, there you have it. That's why I became a prosecutor."

"I'm sorry about Amy," Olivia said, reflecting Alex's sentiments a moment ago. "And I'm glad that you're here."

"Me too," Alex said as she put the picture frame back onto the end table. She returned to her laying position behind Olivia, except this time she laid on her side, facing the detective's back, head propped up and resting in her hand.

"So how do you deal with it, the perversion and violence?" Alex asked, knowing that the detectives saw far more than what she saw everyday.

"I stay away from those S and M types," Olivia joked, turning to her right, knees drawn to her chest, side resting against the sofa.

Alex gave a small chuckle. "I'm serious, how do you go home and...go on?"

"I go rock climbing," Olivia replied simply.

"Rock climbing?" Alex asked. "I thought cops are the jogging type."

"A lot are, but I prefer climbing," Olivia explained. "See, the point of doing something is to get your mind away from the job, to stop thinking about it. When I jog, there's nothing to do except run and think. I can't turn off my brain. But when I'm climbing, I'm thinking about my next foot or hand hold so I don't have to think about work. What about you?"

"I like to cook. My grandmother was a great cook and I learned a thing or two from her while growing up," Alex replied. "And I watch movies."

"You mean 'action flicks'" Olivia corrected her with a smile.

"Yeah, action flicks," Alex said with a small grin.

Olivia turned to the coffee table and grabbed her mug. She took a sip before venturing into a more personal topic. Looking into her mug, she took a breath and asked, "Alex, can I ask you something?"

"Of course," Alex answered, her eyes never leaving Olivia's face.

"You said before that Jordan wasn't your first," Olivia started and then looked up at Alex. "So are you..."

Alex smiled. "Am I gay or am I bisexual?"

Olivia raised her eyebrows, gave a small smile, and nodded slightly to indicate her embarrassment at not being able to put her question into words.

"I guess you never heard the rumors about me then, huh?" Alex joked and then soberly continued, "To the world, including my family, I'm straight, and for the last couple of years, celibate. But between you and me, and Abbie and Serena, I'm gay."

"So then what was that date with Trevor Langan all about?" Olivia asked softly.

Alex chuckled. "I was wondering when you were going to ask me about that."

"Well, I'm asking now," Olivia said.

"It wasn't a date," Alex replied. "At least it wasn't for me, since I don't date men. But, I was getting tired of eating dinner by myself all the time, so when he asked me to dinner, I accepted."

"But...Trevor Langan?" Olivia asked, trying hard, but failing to hide her disgust for the defence attorney.

"Hey, I didn't exactly have a lot of men, never mind women, beating down my door for dinner companionship," Alex said in her own defense.

"Well, first of all, no one knows you're gay, therefore, the lack of women," Olivia explained, returning her mug to the coffee table. She turned back to Alex and continued. "Secondly, I don't know about your office, but the guys in the squad are either married or they're intimidated by you. Believe me, I've heard them talk and gawk, but they're all too scared to approach you. They figure that with your brains and looks, you're too good for any of them."

"And here I thought that no one ever noticed me as anything other than 'the bitchy ice queen'," Alex confessed, looking down at the sofa cushion.

"I noticed," Olivia said, almost inaudibly.

Alex looked up and saw brown eyes boring into her and a warm feeling began to spread in her chest. Her heart started pounding so hard she swore Olivia could hear it. Her mouth went dry and she reminded herself to breath. She had to focus to find her next words, which came out just slighty above a whisper, "You hid it well."

Olivia imperceptibly inched her face closer to Alex's and whispered, "I'm tired of hiding."

Alex swallowed hard as Olivia moved closer to her in an excruciating slow pace. She felt herself gravitating toward the other woman until their noses touched slightly. Olivia teased her by slowly giving her Eskimo kisses, and just when Alex was about to groan with frustration, she felt Olivia's lips touch hers. The kiss was tentative. Olivia waited for Alex to make the next move and the blonde did not disappoint her. Alex parted her lips and Olivia followed, darting out her tongue to taste Alex's soft lips. Olivia reached up her right hand to cup Alex's cheek and deepened the kiss. Mouths and tongues explored as they felt and tasted each other, slowly releasing over two years of want and need. Reluctantly, Olivia pulled away to catch her breath, but only enough so that their foreheads were still touching.

"Wow," Alex said breathlessly, chest heaving, her hand slowly caressing the other woman's arm.

"Not bad for a rookie, huh?" Olivia said smugly before she could stop herself.

Alex stopped dead in her tracks. After a pause, she pulled away and sat up. "Rookie? I thought you said that you dated men and women."

"I said that I'm open to possible relationships, be it with a man or a woman," Olivia clarified, at the same time, mentally cursing herself for having let her mouth run off without her brain. "It's just that I've never met any women who attracted me until I met you."

Alex shook her head and moved further down the couch, away from Olivia. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "I can't do this, Olivia. I told you before; I won't be someone's curiosity or experiment"

Olivia got up and sat down on the couch facing Alex, one arm draped along the back of the couch. She sat close to Alex, but not close enough to be in her personal space. She leaned in slightly and softly pleaded her case, trying not to sound too desperate, "Alex, this isn't some school girl crush. I'm not just curious and looking to try something new. I fell for you the day I met you."

"I can't get hurt again. I won't get hurt again," Alex said looking down, gathering strength to build up her walls of defence against the onslaught of emotions brought on by the woman in front of her.

"I won't hurt you," Olivia reassured her. "I'd die before I hurt you."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," Alex whispered, still avoiding eye contact. She knew that if she looked into Olivia's deep brown eyes, she'd lose her resolve. She had to stand firm and not let the other woman break down her walls.

"So that's it? I don't even get a chance?" Olivia asked, the hurt evident in her voice.

Alex shook her head slightly and swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. Olivia heard her heart break and hoped that Alex could hear it too. She had opened herself to the other woman and saw Alex do the same, and now nothing she could say or do could penetrate itself into Alex's heart. She blinked back the threatening tears and turned away from the blonde. "I guess I should go then."

Alex nodded and added quietly, "Yeah."

Olivia got up and headed to the door. She grabbed her jacket and turned around to see that Alex had followed her. Finally, Alex brougth her dark blue eyes up to look into glistening brown ones. "I'm sorry," was all she could manage.

"Yeah, me too," Olivia replied and with that, she walked out the door.

**Next morning**

Alex woke up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and clattering sounds in the kitchen. She sat up on the couch to find that Abbie had placed a blanket over her sometime during the night. She ran a hand through her hair and saw Abbie leaning on the island counter, holding a mug, and watching her from the kitchen.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Abbie said with a smile as she put down her mug and poured a cup of coffee for Alex.

She went into the living room and sat down on the couch at Alex's feet. Alex accepted the hot mug of coffee gratefully. "What time is it?" she asked before taking a sip.

"Just after ten," Abbie replied leaning her side against the back of the couch. "So how did it go last night?"

"I don't wanna talk about it," Alex said. She got up and headed into the kitchen. "You want some eggs for breakfast?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

"Sure," Abbie replied, following her. She perched herself onto a stool at the island counter, facing Alex who was busy rummaging through the fridge. "I take it things didn't go as planned?"

"Do you want cheese in your omelette?" Alex asked holding up a bag of shredded cheese, ignoring the question.

"What's an omelette without cheese?" Abbie replied in answer. "You're avoiding the question."

"No, I'm avoiding the answer," Alex said as she started to make them breakfast.

"Alex, It's me, Abbie," the brunette said softly, after hearing nothing further from the blonde. "Talk to me."

Alex sighed as she slid Abbie's omelette onto a plate. She knew Abbie would get it out of her one way or another, sooner or later. There was no fighting Abbie Carmichael. She handed Abbie the plate and started to make her own omelette.

"After you went to bed, we talked for a bit, got to know each other a bit more," Alex began. "Then she kissed me."

"She kissed you?" Abbie asked, mid-bite and smiled. "Did you kiss her back?"

"I was an active participant, yes," Alex confirmed. She placed her omelette on a plate and went to sit down beside Abbie.

"Sounds like things were going well," Abbie commented. "So what happened?"

"She's a first timer," Alex said looking at her plate.

"I see," Abbie said, taking a sip of her coffee. "And that's a problem for you."

Alex swallowed her eggs and replied, "Yes. I don't want another Jordan situation."

"From what I can tell, you're crazy about her and she's crazy about you," Abbie rationalized. Alex remained silent and so Abbie continued. "I can see how you change when she's around. You smile a little wider, you laugh a little louder. You're just a happier person when you're around her."

"Yeah, and then what happens when she decides she can't handle being with a woman?" Alex cut in, looking squarely at Abbie.

"You deal with it and go on with life," Abbie replied, looking softly at Alex.

"I have dealt with it before and I've moved on," Alex reminded her. "I just don't want to deal with it again."

"Man," Abbie said, shaking her head. "Jordan sure did a number on you."

Alex looked back down at her plate and pushed her eggs around with her fork. "I cared about her and it hurt when she left. I can't even begin to imagine how much it would hurt if that were to happen with Olivia." She looked up at Abbie again with wet eyes. "I don't think I could handle it, Abbie."

"So you'd rather remain miserable and alone and give up what will probably be the best thing that could ever happen to you?" Abbie asked.

"At least I'll still have my heart in one piece," Alex replied.

"Are you sure about that?" Abbie questioned her with a raised eyebrow. Alex knew Abbie was right. Her heart was no longer whole. It had broken the moment the detective walked out the door. She had convinced herself that the temporary pain that she felt was manageable and necessary in the prevention of further hurt and the humiliation of rejection.

Alex did not reply and returned to her breakfast. Abbie took the sign as the conversation being over for the time being. She suggested that after breakfast they go for a walk and perhaps some shopping and Alex agreed. Anything to keep her mind off of Olivia Benson.

**Later that day**

The two partners sat on the front steps of Elliot's home while everyone else was inside watching football and playing Monopoly. Kathy and Elliot had invited Olivia over for Sunday dinner in hopes of introducing her to one of Kathy's cousins. Elliot had resisted the idea at first but he eventually gave in. He knew that Olivia hadn't been involved with anyone in a while and he just wanted her to meet someone and be happy. Kathy had ensured her husband that she would invite a few friends as well so as to not make Olivia and her cousin feel uncomfortable about the "fix up".

Olivia had wanted to cancel on the dinner when Elliot called to remind her that morning, but she had accepted the invitation a week ago and didn't like to back out of her word. She needed to get her mind off of Alex and knew that that wouldn't happen if she sat at home all day and sulked. And so, that evening she found herself sitting at the Stabler dinner table with her partner's family and some of Kathy's friends and family. She smelled a fix up when Kathy introduced her to her cousin, Michael, but Olivia played it cool. She didn't say much during dinner and would politely, but succinctly, answer questions that were directed at her. The behavior did not go unnoticed by Elliot.

"So, you wanna tell me what's on your mind?" Elliot asked, playing with the label on his beer bottle.

"Nope," Olivia replied and took a swig from her own bottle.

Elliot counted on his fingers, muttering under his breath and then turned to her. "Oh, that time of the month, huh?"

"What?" Olivia asked incredulously. "Jesus, Elliot. We definitely need to get new partners because you know way too much about me."

Elliot chuckled. "Relax, Olivia. I have a wife and three daughters. I learned to count the days, for my own survival."

Olivia let out a chuckle and shook her head. "If you know my cycle, you might as well know everything about me then."

"I don't wanna push you. I just want to know that you're okay," Elliot assured her.

Olivia nodded and licked her lips. She trusted Elliot with her life. She knew that her partner wouldn't treat her any differently if he knew about her, but she had never felt the need to tell anyone about her private life. Most of what he knew about her he had deduced on his own or she had told him on a need to know basis. Tonight, she felt like she needed to tell someone, to vent, to purge her soul. Who better than her partner who cared for her like family?

"I met someone," Olivia began, looking down at her shoes.

"Do I know him?" Elliot asking, smiling.

"No," Olivia lied. It was one thing for her to come out to her partner. It was another to out Alex. "You don't know...her."

Elliot's smile froze and then faded. "Her?"

"Yeah, her," Olivia repeated.

Elliot cleared his throat and swallowed. "I, uh, didn't know you, um, played for the other team."

Olivia smiled at his cliched metaphor and replied with her own, "I swing both ways."

Her partner nodded, took a chug of his beer and shook his head. "Greedy sonofabitch."

Olivia looked over, prepared to berate him when she saw his smile. She slapped him on the arm and replied, "Jackass."

He contained his laughter to a minimal and said with a grin, "So, you in love or what?"

Olivia's smile faded and she said soberly, "I was attracted to her the first time I saw her. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about her."

"So what's the problem? At dinner, you looked like your dog just died. She doesn't feel the same way?"

"She does, but she doesn't want to start anything or get involved because I'm...inexperienced."

"Inexperienced?"

"Yeah, I've only ever dated guys before."

"That's pretty weak."

"Well, she's done it before and it didn't turn out well. She dated a woman who thought she was gay, but then in the end, she decided she was straight."

"Hmm. Maybe she got burned bad that time."

"I think so. I tried to tell her that this wasn't just a crush or some curiosity thing and that I'd never hurt her but she just shut me out."

"Sounds like she got hurt pretty bad," Elliot said. "Well, you got two choices. Either you get over it and move on, or you can be stubborn, like I know you can be, and give her time, give her space, but don't give up."

"How?" Olivia asked.

"Romance her, woo her, whatever it is you single people do," Elliot said smiling. "Just don't give up."

"Sounds like stalking," Olivia said smiling.

"It's only stalking when the other person doesn't feel the same way," Elliot clarified with a grin.

Olivia leaned over and nudged Elliot's shoulder with her own. "Thanks, Elliot."

Elliot gave her a smile and nudged her back. "I just want to see you happy."

"I know," Olivia said and clinked her bottle with his and they continued to drink their beers in a comfortable silence.

As the days turned into weeks, which turned into months, Olivia and Alex remained professional in their dealings with one another at work. However, every once in awhile, Olivia would hold Alex's gaze a few seconds longer than necessary or stand a little too close, and every so often, the detective would catch the ADA's eyes on her when she thought Olivia wasn't looking. Olivia would occasionally invite Alex out for a drink, with or without the boys, but the ADA would always decline, but never without a hint of regret in her eyes.

After the Cheryl Avery case, Olivia came by to invite Alex out for a drink. At that point, Olivia was close to giving up on any kind of possible relationship with the blonde. She had had a rough day and figured that Alex probably wasn't fairing any better either. So as a friend, she extended the invitation. Like always, Alex declined. Then they were called to Bellevue.

After they wheeled Cheryl Avery away to surgery, Alex was in shock. She didn't know what to do and all she could think of was how she was responsible for what happened. She could've asked for Cheryl to be sentenced to a special facility but she didn't. Olivia sensed that Alex was probably mentally berating herself and a small part of her did blame Alex, but another part of her told her that Alex was only doing her job. There was nothing they could do for Cheryl Avery now, but she could try to help alleviate Alex from any of her self recrimination. Alex had already felt lousy about the Avery case before the gang rape. She could only imagine how much worse Alex must have felt, seeing Cheryl on the gurney.

"Why don't I take you home, okay?" Olivia asked softly, reaching out and touching Alex's arm.

Alex simply nodded, eyes unfocused.

Olivia drove them to Alex's apartment and the ride was silent the entire way. Olivia didn't know what to say and guessed that with the state that Alex was in, her words would probably fall on deaf ears. They reached Alex's building and Olivia parked the car. Olivia was still at a loss for words when she heard Alex's quiet and distant voice. "Will you come up with me for awhile?"

Olivia nodded and replied equally quietly, "Yeah."

They headed into the building and up the elevator in silence. Alex let them into the apartment and hung up their coats.

"Do you still want that drink?" Alex asked, heading into the kitchen.

"Yeah, whatever you've got," Olivia answered, sitting on one of the stools at the counter.

Alex opened up a cupboard under the counter and pulled out a bottle of gin and a bottle of club soda. She grabbed two tumblers and filled them with ice.

"Soda?" Alex asked, holding up the bottle.

"Yeah," Olivia replied, watching the blonde.

Alex poured the soda into both glasses and then added generous amounts of gin to both. She handed the glass to Olivia and held up her own glass. "Here's to doing our jobs," she said sarcastically and took a drink.

"Alex, it's not your fault," Olivia began.

"It is my fault," Alex replied. "I sent her to Rikers. I might as well have raped her."

"You were doing your job," Olivia told her again. "That's all any of us can do."

Silence fell upon them again as they sipped their drinks. Olivia kept her eyes on Alex but tried not to make her uncomfortable with her gaze. Finally, Alex put down her glass and braced herself against the counter with her hands. She looked up and into Olivia's soft eyes.

"You said to me that I didn't know what it was like to look at my body and know that it was a mistake," Alex began. "You're right, I don't. But I do know what it's like to be an outsider. To be ostracized for who you are. When I was a kid, I had an uncle named Alexander. I was named after him and he was my favourite uncle. He was only ten years older than I was and so we spent a lot of time together. In highschool, he realized that he was gay and he came out to the family when he was in college. Do you know what they did? They disowned him. His name was never mentioned again after that. I was the only one who kept in touch with him and I had to do it secretly for over fifteen years. Even when he laid dying in a hospital bed, no one else from our family came to see him. His funeral was attended by his partner, his friends and me. See why I never came out to my family?"

Olivia could only nod. There were no words she could say to take away the hurt she saw in Alex's eyes as the blonde told her story.

"When Jordan left me, it was a rejection of me, of my lifestyle," Alex continued. "It hurt, but I got over it because I realized that I wasn't in love with Jordan. That night after you kissed me, I didn't want to imagine how much it would hurt to be rejected like that by someone I really cared about."

"Alex, I understand now your not wanting to get hurt again," Olivia began. "I care about you and I hope with all my heart that someday you'll get past that fear. And I'll move on and hope that we can be friends because -"

"Just looking at you makes me happy," Alex cut her off.

"What?" Olivia asked raising her eyebrows, not quite sure she heard Alex's admission correctly.

"Just looking at you makes me happy," Alex repeated, looking into Olivia's eyes. "I think about you everyday. Everytime we talk, I can't wait to hear the next words out of your mouth. Everytime we're in the same room, I want to stand close to you, and smell your perfume. Everytime I see you, I can't help but think about that kiss."

"Alex, what are you saying?" Olivia asked, eyes fixed on Alex, one eyebrow arched.

Alex walked around the counter towards Olivia. She pulled out a bar stool and sat down, facing the other woman, their knees almost touching.

"As scared as I am about getting hurt, I want to try," Alex replied. "I don't want to hide behind my fears anymore. As pained as my uncle was about our family rejecting him, he never once regretted coming out and being who he was. If I don't give us a shot, I will regret it for the rest of my life."

Olivia swallowed hard. "Are you sure?" she asked softly, her eyes searching Alex's for any signs of doubt.

"I'm sure," Alex whispered and leaned in to touch her lips with Olivia's. She slowly pulled away to see a smirk on the detective's face.

"So you've been thinking about our first kiss, huh?" Olivia asked with a smug grin.

"After everything I've said, that's all you remembered?" Alex accused mockingly.

"I should've told you I have a talent for kissing," Olivia said as she leaned in and started to plant kisses on Alex's neck.

"Well then, Detective Benson, why don't we go and explore what other talents you might have," Alex suggested as she took Olivia's hand and led her down the hall to the bedroom.

The room was illuminated only by the moonlight that streamed through the blinds. As they entered the room, Olivia could see Alex grab something off of the dresser in the corner by the door. Olivia noted that she seemed to be pointing the thing at the opposite wall and then returned it to the dresser. Soft strains of sensual blues music accompanied by the soaring voice of a younger Etta James filled the room. She led Olivia over to the bed and sat her down. She crawled across the bed and rummaged through the drawer of the night table. Olivia turned to look behind her and heard a swift hissing sound and then saw a little flame. The flames multiplied, as Alex lit several candles, giving the room a soft glow. Alex blew out the match and turned her eyes to Olivia.

She crawled back over to Olivia and moved in for another taste of those full lips that she couldn't stop thinking about the last six months. Olivia parted her lips and Alex's tongue immediately began its exploration, enjoying the lingering taste of gin on Olivia's lips and tongue. The brunette reached up her right hand to cup the side of Alex's face and deepened the kiss, their tongues sliding, twirling, dancing. Alex reached down and tugged at Olivia's shirt, untucking it. Olivia pulled away and stopped Alex's hands with her own.

"Are you sure about this, Alex?" she asked and received her answer in the form of kisses along her neck and collar bone.

"I've." Kiss.

"Never." Kiss.

"Been." Gentle sucking on her earlobe.

"More." Kiss.

"Sure." Kiss.

"In." Kiss.

"My." A lick, followed by a kiss in the hollow point where Olivia's collar bones met.

"Life." Alex's tongue invaded Olivia's mouth once again while her hands returned to the task of removing the detective's shirt. Olivia slid off her holster and badge and dropped them onto the floor. Once Alex removed the obstructing shirt out of the way, she snapped open Olivia's bra and slid it off. Olivia leaned into the blonde and laid her down across the bed. Olivia laid on her side, half of her length covering Alex's body, one thigh resting between the blonde's legs. They continued their kissing and nipping as Olivia shed Alex of her shirt and bra.

Olivia began her trail of kisses down Alex's neck and onto her chest. She took a nipple into her mouth and sucked on it gently, feeling a wave or euphoria sweep over her. She had no doubt it would be the first wave of many more to come that night. She licked a trail over to the other breast and ran circles around the erect nipple teasingly. Finally she took it into her mouth and gave it the same attention she had the other. Alex ran her fingers along Olivia's shoulders and into the soft brown hair.

Reluctantly, Olivia turned her attention away from the taut nipple and made another trail of kisses down the middle of Alex's body and admired the simple gold ring that adorned the lawyer's navel. She continued to plant kisses across the blonde's lower abdomen, caressing the little dips close to the hip bones. As she entertained the body beneath her with her lips, her hands removed Alex's dress pants and underwear. Once the blonde was completely naked, she slid back up to face her lover.

"I believe you have some clothes shedding to do," Alex said as she unbuttoned and unzipped Olivia's pants. She rolled over, pinned the brunette beneath her and began her oral assault on her partner's breasts. Olivia closed her eyes as she felt an increase in wetness between her legs. Alex quickly rid her of her pants and panties and admired the naked form on her bed.

"Olivia, are you okay?" Alex asked, laying down beside the other woman, one leg resting between Olivia's legs, and a hand gently stroking between Olivia's breast and hip.

"I'm naked and laying on your bed," Olivia said, opening her eyes and looking into Alex's dark blue ones. "How can I not be okay?"

"If I'm going too fast, just tell me, okay?" Alex said softly, moving her roaming hand to entwine her fingers with Olivia's.

"Are you always this chivalrous, counsellor?" Olivia joked.

"Only with you, Detective," Alex replied and captured Olivia's lips in a hungry kiss.

Alex let go of Olivia's hand and massaged one of Olivia's breasts, thumb and index finger rolling and pinching the erect nipple. Olivia moaned into Alex's mouth at the sensation and her hips instinctively began to rock against Alex's thigh. Alex got the hint and moved her hand down the other woman's torso and down one slender thigh. She moved her hand up to the juncture between Olivia's legs. She paused looking for an indication that she should proceed. Olivia moved her hand over top of Alex's and pulled her mouth away from Alex just long enough to say, "Touch me."

Alex slid her fingers between her partner's outer lips and took note of how wet she was. She massaged the slick folds and obviously aroused clit, which elicited a deep groan from Olivia. Slowly she slid her middle finger deep into Olivia's core and stroked her languidly. Then she added her index finger and began thrusting harder while her tongue darted in and out of Olivia's mouth, mirroring her hand's movements down below.

With one arm wrapped around Alex's waist and the other massaging one of the blonde's breasts, she bucked her hips faster and harder into Alex's hand. She began to feel light headed as she came closer and closer to orgasm. Alex continued to thrust harder and faster into Olivia's slick folds and felt hot flesh tighten against her fingers as the brunette cried out into her mouth. Alex began to slow her movements as she pulled her face back to gaze at the other woman. She pulled her fingers away, and quickly wiped them on a tissue on the night table. She rested her hand on Olivia's hip and smiled.

"That was incredible," Olivia finally managed to say after her breathing slowed down.

"You're incredible," Alex said with a smile.

"Oh, just you wait 'til I put my talents to use," Olivia grinned.

"It's okay, you don't have to," Alex said, tracing a finger along Olivia's jaw. "At least not tonight."

Olivia reached up and took Alex's hand in hers. "I want to."

"Okay," Alex whispered and Olivia rolled her onto her back and settled her body in the vee of Alex's legs.

Olivia slowly slid down Alex's body, leaving a trail of random kisses in her wake. As she reached her destination between Alex's legs, she looked up to see the blonde looking at her. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure," Olivia replied and smiled. "I've been wanting to taste you for a very long time." And with that, she slid her tongue into Alex's folds.

Alex immediately shut her eyes at the sensation and threw her head back onto the bed. She ran her hands into Olivia's hair and bent her knees, drawing her legs up to give Olivia better access. Olivia slid one hand up to massage one of Alex's breasts while her tongue teased her clit. Primal sounds escaped Alex's mouth and Olivia responded by dipping her tongue as deep inside of Alex as she could. She continued to orally please the blonde with her newfound talent. Alex couldn't hold herself back any longer and started to rock her hips against Olivia's mouth. Olivia moved her tongue to circle Alex's clit as she slid two fingers into Alex's hot, wet flesh.

"Oh my god," Alex groaned as Olivia's fingers penetrated her and her tongue sent hot flashes throughout her body. Smiling smugly, Olivia increased the pace at which her fingers pushed in and out of Alex's body and continued to massage her painfully aroused clit.

Alex lost all coherent thought and let her senses guide her. She felt her stomach tighten as her walls gripped around Olivia's finger and she exploded, arching her back. Olivia continued her thrusting, letting Alex ride out her orgasm and finally slowed down and removed her fingers. She gave Alex's folds one last slow lick which caused the blonde to whimper. She crawled back up and laid down beside Alex, head propped up on one arm.

Alex opened her eyes and gave her a lazy smile. She reached over and pulled Olivia's face to her own and kissed her, tasting her own juices on the other woman's lips and tongue.

"Detective Benson, I believe that very talented mouth of yours has become my favorite body part," Alex said after she pulled away.

They slid under the covers and Olivia spooned Alex from behind, arms wrapped around the blonde. She smiled and whispered into Alex's ear, "Lucky for you, counsellor, I'm just getting started."

******

Fin

******


End file.
